Forbidden Fruit
Proverbs 6:27-29 “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife: no one who touches her will go unpunished.”
Recently
some friends and I went out for an enjoyable evening to celebrate one of our
friend’s birthdays. Many other birthday parties were going on at the same venue
as well. Towards the end of the night a very attractive gentleman approached me
and asked if he could get to know me and take me out. We exchanged numbers and shortly towards the
end of the evening I received a very pleasant text. “It was very nice meeting
you, he said, “Please text me when you get home so I know that you made it home
safely.” I did, and must say I was impressed by his consideration. Conversation began between us the next day
and I was pleasantly surprised how respectful this gentleman seemed. Upfront I
was able to share my faith without this person putting on his track shoes and
jetting. The conversation was pure, rich, and intellectually inspiring and I
have to admit I was looking forward to spending more time with this
individual. During that conversation, I
asked him if he had ever been married before and his response was, “Yes, I have
been married for X amount of years.” “Well, are you still married?” I asked
thinking to myself that there is no way this man would carry on a conversation
let alone ask me for my number or out for that matter. “Yes” he replied… to
which I replied “Why would you even ask me for my number?” He continued to say “Because
I was attracted to you, I know I was wrong on so many levels but I don’t regret
doing so. I am happy I met you and really enjoy our conversation.”
Before I
share my reply, let me just pause and be transparent with what was going
through my mind. Part of being a Christian is working out your own salvation
with fear and trembling. Right then and there I knew I had a decision to make.
Option A
would be to continue this conversation, claim to just be friends, not consider
God’s heart in this, and choose to be selfish. Possibly meet up with this
individual and potentially destroy a holy covenant between God, a man, and his
wife. Not to mention the children involved and how one selfish act can tear
away at the moral innocence of a child. Basically I would drag God’s name
through the mud.
OR…
Option B which
would be to speak the truth in love. Stand for God’s heart and on his word that
says, “A man/woman who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself/herself. Blows and disgrace are his/her lot, and
her/his shame will never be wiped away;” Proverbs 6:32-33 or Hebrews
13:4 which says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept
pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” I
could see this as an opportunity to set my desires aside and see this from an
eternal perspective, and represent God in this moment! I could decide not to take
a bite of the forbidden fruit but speak the truth in love and run.
I would be
lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to take option A but by the grace of God I
choose Option B. I thanked him for his honesty, told him I take marriage very
seriously, and was uncomfortable getting to know a married man. Then I hung up
and got on my face and prayed for his marriage and that he would be faithful
and his wife would be enough.
If we
represent God, then we need to realize that some stuff is just off limits for
us. Another woman’s husband/wife is forbidden fruit and we have no right to
violate that covenant or try to separate it period! I realize that there may be
some people reading this that have or has and or are maybe still involved in an
illicit relationship. I pray that you
would choose to trust that I do not write to condemn you in anyway but
hopefully to present God’s heart in the matter. It doesn’t matter if they are separated or
going through a divorce, I encourage us to ask ourselves, why would we want to
be a distraction to someone else’s divine moment? Maybe God needed to take them
there in order for them to lean on God. I have come across many Christian women who
claim that another woman’s husband is supposed to be theirs. Or that they are
in love with another person’s spouse. To
that woman or man I say gently in a spirit of love, stop living in self-deception!
Unfortunately, years ago I am not proud to say that I have been that woman. If the truth be told the most loving thing you
can do in that situation is walk away. If we truly love others we put that
other person’s needs before our own and we see this thing from the eternal
perspective. They made a vow before God
and if they are willing to break that vow when you come along, then what? Maybe they broke it before you came along but
who’s to say that they won’t turn around and do the same thing to you? I
realize people will argue and say, well maybe they don’t know God or maybe they
married for the wrong reasons. I get that but we are discussing you and me.
Most likely if you are reading this blog you have a relationship with God and
you know the truth. The bible says it is a sin to know what to do but then don’t
do it. We need to ask ourselves this question: Are you (the one in the mirror)
really going to be able to stand before a Holy God on judgment day and justify
your selfishness? OR explain the relational fallout that has occurred because
you didn’t wait on God? If they had
grounds for a biblical divorce that’s different, but if you are the person they
cheated with….um how can God bless that?
Unfortunately
in the past I did choose option A BUT God in His mercy granted me repentance
and I took it, kicking and screaming but it was the best decision I have ever
made. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked who
can know it.” We can’t trust our hearts that is why God has given us a
conscience and if you are in Christ, He’s given us the Holy Spirit which brings
conviction. Sometimes we flat out desire
the wrong things for various reasons, or the right things in the wrong time. He
challenged me and showed me my own sinful selfish self-deception and how if I
continued with that individual both of our lives would never be blessed! He
gave me grace and strength to apologize, repent, and walk away. Thanks be to
God that I have been fully redeemed and you can too! God is able!
The fact that you are still drawing breath is
a good sign that God still isn’t finished with you yet. First off if you are in
one of these situations the bible says “Today if you hear God’s voice, do not
harden your heart.” The bible also tells
us to “Repent, because the kingdom of God is at hand.” Repent means to change
your mind about something and turn the other direction.” As I envision those
who would possibly be reading this blog there are potentially different avenues
to take.
1. Maybe you have never received Christ
as your Lord and Savior. You can today. He paid the price for your sin and
mine. If that is you, email me at italiaj84@gmail.com
, and I would love to pray with you and show you scripture on how to do that.
2. Maybe you have turned from your sin
but you are struggling with a married man or woman. I encourage you to end it.
Tell God how you truly feel even if you desire to still be with them and ask
God to give you His heart and supernatural strength to cut ties.
3. Maybe you are about to face a
situation like this ahead. I would say to you, be on guard! Guard your heart.
Before I went out I prayed with my girl and asked God for His protection and He
was faithful.
4. Maybe you have already crossed those
lines and you feel it is too late. He or she left them for you and now you’re
left with guilt. You can’t fix that you have to surrender that to God. Read
Mark 10:11-12 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his
wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she
divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” To you I would say seek God’s face and seek
Godly counsel to discern what your next step is.
Whatever circumstance you might be in this season, just know
you are loved by God and by me. God can and will deliver you and give you
strength to do the right thing. A lot of times we get caught up because we are
at a vulnerable state and the enemy places that bait right in front of our eyes.
Remember it’s not a sin to be tempted, it’s only when you yield to it. Next
post I will talk about the importance of having guards and boundaries in place
for your lives. In the meantime, find a marriage that is struggling and be a
blessing to them. Pray for them, encourage them, or love on them! Be encouraged
this week and stay in the fellowship of God! Live Fit4Eternity til the finish!
Love,
Jennifer
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