The Portrait of a Good Mother

 

Being a teacher unfortunately sometimes I am hit with the shrapnel of an absent parent in a child’s life. Whether that be an absent father or mother in both cases it is devastating to the child. It not only impacts them socially buy hinders them in so many other aspects of their growth. Hands down I think the worst I experience is the little boy without any mother figure in his life. Sometimes the mother is incarcerated, lives in another state, abusive physically or mentally, or just doesn’t want anything to do with them. The child is scared for life and has great difficulty trying to cope. As Mother’s Day weekend passed I realize there is an array of different emotions concerning Motherhood. The audience will contain a spectrum of individuals who have mixed emotions about this day. Some may have had outstanding mothers, some absent mothers, some wishing to be a mother, some who are mothers, and some who lost a child and are no longer a mother, some with horrible memories of their mothers, or some who lost their mother. Regardless if our experience or memories of our mothers is good or bad, God’s word gives us a picture of what a Good Mother looks like. Whether you have kids, planning to have kids, desire children, or for the few brave men who are reading this and have a place of influence in a young person’s life, we all can glean some wisdom from this passage of Scripture. Tucked away in the book of Proverbs is one example of a Good mother who got it right!

Proverbs 31:1 “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:”

Many scholars believe that Lemuel was King Solomon, some argue another person, and regardless this King’s mother taught him some things that we can all learn from. 

1.       She is God-fearing.

In the ancient world, an oracle was a person (as a priestess of ancient Greece) through whom a deity is believed to speak. This King’s mother had a relationship with God in order to receive the message that she taught her son.

 

2.       She taught her son the word of God

Out of her direct relationship with God she taught her son His words. Scripture tells us to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. This woman knew the importance of instilling the truth into her son. Do we?

 

 Proverbs 31:2 “What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?”

3.       She was present in her son’s life

These verses show a presence in her son’s life. She had a relationship with him and was intentional about being in his business. As a mother she didn’t allow the TV, video games, social media, or the school system to raise him.

 

4.       She held her son accountable for his actions

She questions her son’s actions three times. She understood that his actions whether good or bad impacts others and was intentional of calling him out on his behavior. Good mothers don’t sugar coat, ignore, or brush stuff under the rug, they put their foot down and challenge foolish behavior and praise good behavior.

 

5.       She realized the obligation and responsibility to fulfill the vow she made before God as far as raising her son.

She refers to him as her son and son of her womb, which makes him her responsibility and son of her vows which shows her moral obligation to raising him right. God’s word says that children are a blessing from the Lord. It’s a shame that many times they are treated as a burden, a secret, a possession, or a cord to keep someone in their parent’s lives. A good mother doesn’t pass her responsibility off onto others she realizes that they are a gift from God and that she has been entrusted with a life or lives to raise.

Proverbs 31:3 “Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.”

6.       She warned her son about the dangers of destroying his influence.

This mother warned her son about how dating multiple women will drain his strength and can potentially destroy his empire and influence. She kept it 100% as the kids say. There is nothing more destructive to a man than a wicked, manipulative, deceitful, selfish woman. She knew that her son would be distracted if he allowed multiple women to have his attention.

 

Proverbs 31:4-7 “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink,(5)lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. (6)Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; (7) let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”

7.       She reminded her son of his identity and the responsibility that goes along with that.

She calls him a king and reminds him of his responsibility of sticking up for the rights of the afflicted. She warns of substance abuse and how that can pervert the people’s rights because it can impede his judgement.  Her son had been entrusted with a sphere of influence and this mother understood that  potential substance abuse could shatter all of that. More importantly however, that kind of behavior isn’t fitting for a child of the KING (her son).

Proverbs 31:8-9, “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.(9)Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

8.       She inspired her son to use his gifts and influence to fight social justice, serve others and to use his voice for the voiceless.

She encourages him to speak up and defend those who are mute, poor, needy, and destitute. This mother communicated to him that his life is not for himself, it is to be poured out to serve his fellow man and those that are less fortunate than him. How the world would be such a better place if we poured into our children like this and taught them servanthood instead of entitlement.

Proverbs 31:10-31 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels…..”

She goes on for 21 more verses describing this woman.

9.       She encouraged her son to find a helpmate to help him rule. She understood he would need help. She communicates to him that finding a good woman is a rare valuable thing. She goes on to list the qualities of what he will gain when he finds her.

She is: Trustworthy, he won’t lack gain, she does him good not evil all the days of her life, she has a strong work ethic, willing hands, business woman, early riser, provides for her household needs first then others, has girlfriends, has her own, is fruitful in her giftedness, strong, dignified, in shape, knows her merchandise is profitable, burns the midnight oil, puts her hands to work, opens her hands to the needy and the poor, is generous, not afraid, prepared, dresses well, talks well of others, sells what she makes, delivers what she sells, keeps her word, strong, dignified, not afraid of the future, wise, speaks kindly always, knows well her families affairs, not lazy, her children call her blessed, is praised, and most importantly fears God.

Proverbs 31:30-31 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (31)Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

10.   She encourages her son that the most important quality of a good helpmate is that she is God-fearing.  Character is more important than beauty  and charm.

If this was Solomon who this was written to, it is interesting to note that he didn’t heed his mother’s advice. He had over 700 wives and 300 concubines. He was also known as the wisest man who ever lived but he isn’t mentioned in the hall of faith in Hebrews chapter 11. It shows us how one can be a hearer of the word and not a doer being self-deceived. Although I do believe Solomon truly loved one woman hence the book of Song of Solomon, he still chose to be selfish, give into his flesh, and these multiple women turned his heart away from the LORD.

Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching,”

 1 Corinthians 10:11 says, “These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.”

 What happened in the bible days are for us today to apply to our lives right now! I encourage us whatever life situation we are in to examine our lives and apply the wisdom in these verses. If we never had a mother like this, we are without excuse the bible clearly gives us this example of a woman who got it right. We can choose to see this mother as God speaking to us and glean what he is saying.

For the mother, brave father, spiritual mother, spiritual father, teacher, auntie, uncle, or mentor reading this…. Would you please ponder these questions as I have done?

Do you fear God?

Do you teach your children the word of God?

Are you present in your children’s lives?

Do you hold them accountable for their actions?

Are you faithfully fulfilling the responsibility of raising your child or children or are you passing it off on others?

Do you warn your children of the dangers of destroying their opportunities, education, reputation, gifts, and callings? Do you have guards up in your life to protect you from destroying yours?

Do you pour into them and remind them of their identity in God and with that challenge them to harness their responsibility in society?

Do you teach your kids servanthood and giving to others? Do you model this before them?

Do you encourage your children that character matters more than beauty, status, talent, or fame and to choose friendships or mates based on character not charm or beauty?

If you are like me, after reading this you may feel a little defeated. I think we all can admit we need some grace to grow in some of these areas but thanks be to God who extends His grace and mercy freely if we ask him. Let’s be the men and women God created us to be! Mediocrity is not your legacy! Live Fit4eternity!

PS: Happy Mother’s Day to all my beautiful readers holding it down! (picture credit: longwaitforisabel.com)

 

 

When I was a Child "I Spoke" Part 1

 

 

  I Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man/woman, I gave up childish ways.”

 

A wise woman once told me, change is inevitable but growth is optional. Recently, I was working out with a woman who is in the process of losing weight. This older man approached me afterwards and said, “I have seen your friend in here for 2 years now and still there has been no change, that’s a shame.” I thought to myself, “I have seen you in here for 2 years as well and you are still chasing after women, being unfaithful to your wife, and most of all you could be my grandfather.” That evening God convicted me heavily and spoke ever so clearly, look in the mirror Jennifer. “You have been walking with me now for 12 years and there are still areas in your life where you are still wearing spiritual diapers so to speak still operating in the flesh. In other words there has been no growth. Sure I got older, time went by, but spiritually I was still in Elementary school.

 In fact in chapter 3 of 1 Corinthians verses 1-2, Paul says the same things to them as well as us. “But I brothers/sisters, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh.” Flesh, what does Paul mean by the flesh?  Charles Pope defines it as, “Perhaps most plainly it refers to that part of us that is alienated from God. It is the rebellious, unruly and obstinate part of our inner self that is operative all the time. It is that part of us that does not want to be told what to do. It is stubborn, refuses correction, and does not want to have a thing to do with God. It bristles at limits and rules. It recoils at anything that might cause me to be diminished or something less than the center of the universe. The flesh hates to be under authority or to have to yield to anything other than its own wishes and desires. The flesh often desires something simply because it is forbidden. The Protestants often call the flesh our “sin nature” which is not a bad term in summarizing what the flesh is.” I wonder how many of us if we are really honest with ourselves would have to agree that we are still riding bikes with training wheels on spiritually. How many of us still walk according to the flesh. The Corinthians did and that was one of their main problems.

The Church at Corinth was far from the ideal model of a first-century apostolic church. It had been planted in one of the most difficult and challenging cities in the Roman World. (The Greek word korinthiazomai) (literally, "to act the Corinthian") in fact came to mean "to commit fornication.")  This church had every spiritual gift known to man, but lacked maturity, unity, and most of all love. Paul challenged the Corinthians to be faithful to Christ in spite of living submerged in a culture that sin was the norm and everyone was participating in it. Not unlike America or Western Christianity today.

(The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. 2001 (1 Co 13:11). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.)

The challenges facing this new community of saints were issues of church unity, sexual immorality, marriage, divorce, litigiousness, modesty, authority, spiritual gifts, and hope.  As Paul spoke to the Corinthian believers regarding matters of their Christian faith, life, and ministry, he also speaks clearly and loudly to us today. Thus he would challenge our generation to “Give up childish ways!”

Most people hear 1 Corinthians chapter 13 at weddings because it paints a picture of what real love looks like and how it behaves. The context really has nothing to do with marriage it mainly focuses on operating and serving the body of Christ with one’s spiritual gifts. (The principles can be applied in marriage). In Chapter 12 the Corinthians were using their spiritual gifts in the flesh and causing confusion. Paul implores them as well as us to operate in love in Chapter 13. In essence Paul says:

·         It doesn’t matter how gifted you are with your words and speaking in tongues if you don’t love you sound like a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.

·         It doesn’t matter how much knowledge, or mysteries you understand, prophetic power you possess or faith to move mountains that you have, if you don’t love you are nothing.

·         It doesn’t matter how much you give to the poor, or sacrifice if you don’t have love you gain nothing.

Then Paul goes on to describe what love looks like and behaves like which I will save for a future post. After that Paul continues to say that all of our gifts will pass away but faith, hope, and love will remain.

In between these favorite verses of mine is our key verse today. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, when I became a man/woman I gave up childish things.” Working with children for the past 11 years has helped me ponder this verse. Working with adults in the summer has also given me insight on childish ways we need to give up. Notice first of all the word child. This word is referring to a very young child, not yet of legal age. As a Christian it is important to grow up spiritually and not view spiritual things from a child’s perspective.

It is interesting to note the past tense of these verbs in these verses, I was, I spoke, I thought, I reasoned, and I gave up, more on that later.  For today’s post let’s focus only on “I spoke as a child.”

Speech is powerful. Words have a way of healing you or hurting you. Helping you or hindering you. Children babble, have loose lips, speak careless words, and repeat things easily. Whoever said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” ummmm LIED! If we are really honest with ourselves most of our deepest wounds come from words. Words can bring life or bring death the bible says. As Christian adults our speech is a huge indicator of our maturity level. When Paul describes love in the verses 4-8 he paints us a picture of what it is not. Let’s pick out the ones that have to do with our speech first.

Love does not boast….Kids boast and brag. Boast means to talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities.  Kids are the first to brag about what new shoes, or game they received, or what they accomplished all by themselves. As adults it sounds a little more subtle like, “I saved ______ souls this year”, I have _______ degrees/titles, I accomplished______! “Look who I know or am dating!”

 Proverbs 27:2 says, “Let praise a stranger praise you, and not your own mouth; and not your own lips.” 

 Jeremiah 9:23 says, “Thus says the LORD: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches”

1 Corinthians 1:31 says, “Therefore, as the Scriptures say, "If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD."

Love is not arrogant….Kids especially teenagers are arrogant. Arrogant means having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. I guess we could say this is a step up from boasting. This is the kind of Christian who forgot where they came from. It’s like the man or woman who loses a bunch of weight but refuses to thank those who helped along the journey. Who now looks down upon those who were in the same struggle as they were in? God forgive us for our arrogant I did it all by myself look at me attitudes. 

 1 Corinthians 4:7 says, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?”

Love is not rude…Children say rude or insulting things to others or about others sometimes.  Rude means offensively impolite or ill-mannered. Children hit below the belt and don’t fight fair. They use other’s weaknesses against them. It is amazing to me how many of us in the body of Christ are comfortable accepting from other Christians but then will turn around and insult or hurt the very ones who had our backs by wreck less careless words.  

Colossians 3:8 says, “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”

Ephesians 5:4 says, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth…Kids lie and tell stories. To lie means A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood. Something meant to deceive or mistakenly accepted as true: To present false information with the intention of deceiving. To convey a false image or impression: Appearances often lie. Our world is so backwards in that people get mad at people when they tell the truth no wonder it is easier to lie. People lie for various reasons. Children lie mainly out of fear; fear of disappointing the one they lied to, fear of admitting their failure, fear of reaping the consequences or rejection. I think adults do these things as well. I’ve noticed in the body of Christ when people admit the truth sometimes they receive rejection, abandonment, or even punishment. That doesn't mean you should stop telling the truth.

 Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

  Proverbs 13:5 “A righteous man hates lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and comes to shame.”

Proverbs 14:5 “A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.”

 Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

Love is not irritable…children complain.  To be irritable means having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed or made angry. As adults we do this too. We display our anger through tantrums, mumbling under our breath, and complaining about the other person instead of looking in the mirror at ourselves.

 Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger”

 James 1:20 says, “For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Love is not resentful….Sometimes children don’t say anything at all and let it fester until it becomes resentment. Resentment means…. feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly. Adults are afraid to confront others when they become offended so they don’t say anything at all and let it fester into resentment. Then they tell others about what happened to them and the person who offended them has no idea what they did wrong! Meanwhile they are painting the offender in a negative light.

  Mark 11:25 says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

 Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”

One might ask, so now what? I am not perfect what am I supposed to do now?! I would say neither am I but we are in this together. The fact that we are still drawing breath means that God is not done with us yet. This post I challenge us to repent of any known sin and renounce it. Then go back and pray these scriptures over our lives and ask God daily to help us with our speech. One prayer I literally pray every day is this:

Heavenly Father please put a muzzle over my mouth and grant me grace to speak only words that speak life and not death.  Let no corrupt talk come out of my mouths, but only such words as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Help me to live in reality of Matthew 12:36 which says, “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every empty word they have spoken.” I pray in Jesus Name Amen!

I Love you all so much! Thanks for going on this journey with me! Live Fit4eternity!

 

Digging Deeper: Get alone with God this week and ask yourself these questions. Then confess any sins.

·         When was the last time I boasted in anything other than the Lord?

·         When was the last time I pumped up my flesh to exaggerate the sense of my own importance?

·         When was the last time I said something rude or impolite towards someone or about someone?

·         When was the last time I lied to someone, to myself, or to God?

·         When was the last time I was irritable with someone and displayed my anger in an unrighteous way?

·         Is there anyone I am holding resentment towards? Have I gone to that person and shared how they have hurt or injured me?

 



 

NO EXCUSES! BE FAITHFUL!

No Excuses! Be Faithful!

 

 

 

It was the final week of Jesus’ life. He was giving his final marching orders to his disciples before he ate the last supper with them. Soon, Jesus would give His life for them and all who would follow Him. The last words of someone’s life are powerful. Peering into the gospel of Matthew gives us a glimpse of what was truly on our LORD’s heart the last week of his life. Among His top subjects were instructions on:  

1.       Purity and Prayer (Matthew 21:12-22)

2.       The Authority of Jesus being the only way to God (Matthew 21:23-22:14)

3.       Respecting Government authority (Matthew 22:15-22)

4.       The Power of the Resurrection (Matthew 22:23-33)

5.       The Great Commandment (Matthew 22:34-40)

6.       Jesus is LORD (Matthew 22:41-46)

7.       God’s hatred of hypocrisy (Matthew 23:1-36)

8.       God’s heart for Jerusalem (Matthew 23:37-39)

9.       Signs of the Last Days (Matthew 24:1-35)

10.   Living wise, with urgency, and preparation for His return (Matthew 24:36-51)

11.    Being faithful until the final judgment (Matthew 25:1-46)

Today we will focus on number 11, being faithful to what God has entrusted to us. Jesus spoke in parables and in today’s reading (The Parable of the Talents) Jesus tells a story of a man who went on a journey and who entrusted to his servants his property. The servants were expected to double or produce fruit from what had been given to them. They would be held accountable for what they did with what God had given them and as we will see God wasn’t interested in any of their excuses. Scholars believe that the ‘talent’ was money, or time, or ability. After studying it, I believe “a talent” is talking about our abilities but you study it for yourself and ask God to give you illumination into His word.

Matthew 25:14-15 says, “For it (the kingdom) will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.”

1.       My ability is to be used to serve God (vs. 14)

 Notice first of all the man represents Jesus/God and his servants represent us or those who follow him. If we have been called by God, we belong to God, and we are called to serve God. Many Christians get caught up in entitlements: “Reverends” “CEOs” “Evangelists” we are all God’s servant’s period! God doesn’t care about titles. If we are called by God to teach, preach, heal, give, or show hospitality etc., the bottom line is we are HIS SERVANTS! Yes some of these abilities have greater influence (1 Timothy 3:1-13), stricter judgments (James 3:1), and higher accountability but one is not more important than the other. GOD FORGIVE US FOR OUR TITLES!

2.       My ability is entrusted to me from God (vs. 14)

Everything God has given us is a trust! It is His property, just look in the text. Our kids are on loan from God, our talent is from God, our skills are from God, and our influence is from God. God is entrusting us with these abilities to see if we will glorify Him or use them to make a name for ourselves or sell out to influence the world.

3.       My ability is a gift from God (vs. 15)

Notice the words He gave each one according to his ability. How much time do we spend coveting other people’s lives, talents, abilities and forget to thank GOD for what he has given us? I challenge us all to make a list of all that God has given us and let’s begin to thank Him for it and ask God to use all of that for His purposes and His glory!

Matthew 25:16-19 “He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them.”

4.       I am expected to produce results for God with my abilities (vs 16)

How many people are being impacted for eternity by our talents and abilities? Do others worship us or God? Is our talent or giftedness drawing others closer to the Lord or closer to the world? What kind of fruit are we producing, followers of us or followers of Christ?

5.       I will be held accountable for how I used my ability. (Vs. 19)

Jesus is coming back and he is expecting a good return on all He has invested and entrusted to us. That day is coming whether we believe it or not, everyone will be held accountable. We need to prepare and stop playing games and be faithful with what we have been blessed with.

Matthew 25:21, 23 “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

6.       My faithfulness to use my abilities for God will be rewarded. (vs 21,23)

Everyone desires a reward in life for hard work. God promises that in His word. Sometimes the reward is more opportunities, or money, or richer fuller relationships either way God is faithful. We may not experience the full weight of the reward on this side of Eternity, but as living proof I can testify, there is a joy unspeakable when you are faithful to what God has asked you to do and He allows you to experience the reward on this side of Eternity. Be faithful saints!

Matthew 25:24-26 “He also who had received the one talent came forward saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours, But his master answered him, ‘you wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed?”

7.       My excuses are seen as wickedness in God’s eyes. (vs 26)

This servant was suffering from self-deception. Notice he said, “I knew you to be” but yet he did nothing but bury what God had given him. James says, “But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” This servant knew his master’s heart and character but yet chose not to be faithful. Also, he allowed fear to cripple him and become his excuse. I made a little list of excuses Christians use instead of serving God.

·         Fear of Man- “What will others think if I go all in for the Lord?”

·         Fear of being bored- “I won’t experience any thrill or excitement anymore”

·         Fear of giving up “my life”- “If I serve God then I have to give up my dreams”

·         Fear of rejection- “Let’s face it this is a hard message and not everybody is trying to hear about Jesus.”

·         Fear of suffering- “I don’t want to suffer; there is too much pain in life already.”

·         Fear of failure-“and what if it doesn’t work out?”

Trust me when I say, I have made all of those excuses but nothing will compare to the shame we will feel when we reach Eternity and shrink back because we chose not to believe Him and use our abilities for the Lord. God promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We have to trust if He has placed something upon our hearts He will be faithful to provide the resources to get it done we just need to cooperate with Him. I also can testify that serving God is the great adventure that everyone is looking for!

Matthew 25:28, 30 “So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents…And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

8.       Our excuses will have Eternal consequences. (vs 28,30)

#nocommentaryneeded

 

Heavenly Father,

Please forgive us for taking every blessing that you have bestowed upon us for granted. Help us to see our abilities as a trust and a gift from you. Grant us grace to serve you with our talents and to glorify you. Forgive us for our excuses we make and give us courage to live for you and glorify you for this short time on earth. Help us to make an eternal impact for our good and for Your glory. Thank you that you reward faithfulness, make us faithful servants who steward your abilities well. Let us hear you say to us well done my good and faithful servant when we reach Eternity. Thank you that your word says that He who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it. We love you and we pray these things in Jesus Name AMEN!

Live Fit4eternity!

Photo Credit: Brother J.J. Hallen Thank you!

Guarding Against Self-Deception

 

 

The Eighties was a time of tight rolled jeans, Super Mario Bros, and BIG HAIR! Apparently as a young teen, I didn’t get the memo. It was 1992 and I was still rocking my high bangs. Everyone else had the Jennifer Aniston bob, or the Mariah Carey perm but not me, I was stuck in the eighties with my backcombed hair sprayed super stiff bangs. My own father used to poke fun at me and say I had a bird’s nest on top of my head! I chuckle now as I write these words but in all seriousness, no one could tell me anything. I thought I was cute! I was serious about my bangs and everyone else could do nothing but stare and wonder “what in the world was she thinking?” I was self-deceived into thinking that those bangs complemented me in some way. Boy was I wrong!

Self-deception Webster defines as: the action or practice of allowing oneself to believe that a false or not validated feeling, idea, or situation is true. That is today’s topic. How many of us have heard or used the excuse, “The devil made me do it?” the bible teaches that this is not always the case.  Deception occurs in three ways:

 

 

The Devil	Other People	Our Own Hearts
He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Revelation 12:9 So the great dragon was thrown out--the ancient serpent, which is called the Devil and Satan, the one who deceives the whole world.	Ephesians 5:6 “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 2 Thessalonians. 2:3 “Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction” 2 Timothy 3:13, “while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.	Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Obadiah 1:3, “The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, “Who will bring me down to the ground?” James 1:14, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.”

 

Today we will focus on the third column, when we as Christians begin to believe our own press, we can be rendered ineffective. There are many ways we can become self-deceived. Just like the eighties have come and gone Christians can get stale in their salvation and become self-deceived. We can start to trust in our own heart and lean on our own understanding which the bible warns against (Proverbs 3:5-6) and then we fall into the web of self-deceit. I don’t claim to be a bible scholar but I have come across ten ways we as Christians can fall into self-deception.

1.       Believing that the Unrighteous will inherit the kingdom of heaven.

1 Corinthians 6:9 says, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.  And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

QUESTIONS:  We need to ask ourselves: Are we practicing anything habitually on this list or do we have a continual pattern of freedom from these sins on this list? The bottom line, if indeed we are in Christ, sin no longer has dominion over us. We can choose to yield to the Spirit and not that old familiar pattern of sin.

 

2.        Believing the company we keep doesn’t impact us.

 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

The Corinthian’s were surrounded by company that was trying to convince them that the resurrection did not occur when Paul penned these words. Culturally they were surrounded by sinful practices that were the norm in society not unlike America today.

QUESTIONS: We need to ask ourselves: Is the company we keep drawing us closer to the Lord, challenging us towards obedience, or to walk in the light? Every time we hang out with people, do we feel edified, uplifted, encouraged, loved or do we feel defeated? Better yet are we influencing our friends towards the things of God or drawing them farther away due to sin in our own lives?

Just because it is the cultural norm and everyone is doing it, is not a good enough rationalization in God’s eyes!

 

3.        Believing we won’t reap what we sow.

 Galatians 6:7-9 says, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people and especially to those who are of the household of the faith...”

QUESTIONS:  We need to ask ourselves: Are we sowing to the flesh or the Spirit? Every action we make, word we speak, down to the motives we have… are they in the flesh or in the Spirit? Are we doing what we do, to make a name for ourselves or to glorify God? Are we reaching out to others out of obligation or guilt or are we truly being led by the Spirit? When we say what we have to say, is it out of love or out of a need to be right? Help us LORD!

                                      

4.       Thinking God is not good. 

James 1:16 says, “Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.”

QUESTIONS: In our suffering, is God still Good? Is our situation caused by circumstances out of our control or sin that we chose to sow? Ouch help us Jesus!

 

5.        Being only Hearers of the word and not doers of it.

 James 1:22-25 says, “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.”

QUESTIONS: When we read the bible or are in church do we say, “I wish so and so was here to hear this?” Do we practice what we preach? When we hear the sermon on Sunday do we look for opportunities to apply what we’ve learned? Do we have a whole bunch of head knowledge or do we actually live out what the word says?

 

6.       Christians don’t have to bridle their tongues.

James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

QUESTIONS: What is our speech like?  Is it harsh? Does our tone of speech display love towards others? Do we use profanity? Do our words bring life into other’s lives or death? Do we speak the truth in love or do we always have to vent our own opinions? One pastor said if we spent half that time talking to God instead of talking, imagine how much more can be accomplished?

 

7.       Thinking we are something when we are not.

Galatians 6:3-5 “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. For each one will bear his own load.”

QUESTIONS: What title, position, or status have we trusted in to stroke our egos? Everyone is level at the cross. We all fall short of the glory of God!

 

8.       Thinking we are wise in our own eyes.

1 Corinthians 3:18 says, “Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise.”

QUESTIONS: Are we arrogant thinking we know all or are we teachable? Do we have a pliable heart to see our own faults and errors even in our thinking?

 

9.       Trusting in Vanity.
Job 15:31 says, “31“Let him not trust in emptiness, deceiving himself; For emptiness will be his reward.”

QUESTIONS:  How much time do we spend making sure the externals are presentable when inside our hearts are disasters? How much time do we spend getting ready for church or others instead of preparing our hearts to worship God in Spirit and in truth?

 

10.   Saying we have no sin.

1 John 1:8-10 says, “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.”

QUESTIONS: How much time do we focus on other’s sins and not look in the mirror and see our own? How easily are we to notice specks in other’s eyes but miss the planks in our own?

 

Plato said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Paul said in 2 Corinthians 13:5-6, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!” The good news is if we find ourselves anywhere caught in the web of self-deception we can turn and repent.

One day, I realized I didn’t have any hairspray in the house so I had to wear my bangs flat. I was so insecure that day but I remember this young teen coming up to me in the bathroom and saying lovingly, “Wow, you look so much better! You should wear your hair like that more often.” Many, many people told me how much better I looked that day when my hair was flat; needless to say I never went back. I needed the sobering truth of others to change my view of what looked right. Thank God we have the truth of his word!

 

Unfortunately, I have lived in many of these webs. When I choose to renew my mind with the truth of God’s word I sober up and see where I have erred. Here is a prayer that might help you. Thank you so much for reading and supporting. Live Fit4eternity!

 Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for the truth of your word. Thank you that you are a God who does not lie and I can trust in you at all times to tell me the truth. Please forgive me for the times that I have chosen to walk and live in self-deception. Please remove the scales from my eyes to see clearly, to walk uprightly, and to not live in self-deception. Where there is any unrighteousness in my life, please bring it to mind so that I can confess it and forsake it. Surround me with godly friendships and relationships that will love me unconditional and challenge me to grow closer to you. Give me grace to make an impact on those around me to draw them into a deeper fellowship with you. Grant me grace to yield to your Spirit and not sow to my flesh. Forgive me for the times that I have chosen my flesh over your Spirit. Forgive me for the times I have questioned your goodness and blamed you for consequences for my own choices and not circumstances out of my control. Make me into a doer of your word and not a hearing deceiving myself. Give me divine opportunities to put into practice your word daily. Put a muzzle over my mouth to only speak words of life and truth. Let no unwholesome talk proceed out of my mouth to hurt or injure others. Forgive me for every idle word I’ve said out of hurt, anger, loose lips, or revenge. Remove falsehood and lies far from me. Forgive me for the times pride has blinded me to think more highly of myself than I am, or the times I have thought I was wise and acted arrogantly. Grant me daily humility to know that apart from you I am nothing. I am your servant Lord. Let me not trust in vanity but trust only in YOU! My rock, my redeemer! Grant me strong conviction to see my own sin first before I try to point out someone else’s. Thank you that you are slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. Thank you that when I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me of them and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Teach me how to abide in you and allow your words to abide in me so that I will be guarded against future self-deception. I pray all these things in Jesus Name AMEN!