The Portrait of a Good Mother

 

Being a teacher unfortunately sometimes I am hit with the shrapnel of an absent parent in a child’s life. Whether that be an absent father or mother in both cases it is devastating to the child. It not only impacts them socially buy hinders them in so many other aspects of their growth. Hands down I think the worst I experience is the little boy without any mother figure in his life. Sometimes the mother is incarcerated, lives in another state, abusive physically or mentally, or just doesn’t want anything to do with them. The child is scared for life and has great difficulty trying to cope. As Mother’s Day weekend passed I realize there is an array of different emotions concerning Motherhood. The audience will contain a spectrum of individuals who have mixed emotions about this day. Some may have had outstanding mothers, some absent mothers, some wishing to be a mother, some who are mothers, and some who lost a child and are no longer a mother, some with horrible memories of their mothers, or some who lost their mother. Regardless if our experience or memories of our mothers is good or bad, God’s word gives us a picture of what a Good Mother looks like. Whether you have kids, planning to have kids, desire children, or for the few brave men who are reading this and have a place of influence in a young person’s life, we all can glean some wisdom from this passage of Scripture. Tucked away in the book of Proverbs is one example of a Good mother who got it right!

Proverbs 31:1 “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:”

Many scholars believe that Lemuel was King Solomon, some argue another person, and regardless this King’s mother taught him some things that we can all learn from. 

1.       She is God-fearing.

In the ancient world, an oracle was a person (as a priestess of ancient Greece) through whom a deity is believed to speak. This King’s mother had a relationship with God in order to receive the message that she taught her son.

 

2.       She taught her son the word of God

Out of her direct relationship with God she taught her son His words. Scripture tells us to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. This woman knew the importance of instilling the truth into her son. Do we?

 

 Proverbs 31:2 “What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?”

3.       She was present in her son’s life

These verses show a presence in her son’s life. She had a relationship with him and was intentional about being in his business. As a mother she didn’t allow the TV, video games, social media, or the school system to raise him.

 

4.       She held her son accountable for his actions

She questions her son’s actions three times. She understood that his actions whether good or bad impacts others and was intentional of calling him out on his behavior. Good mothers don’t sugar coat, ignore, or brush stuff under the rug, they put their foot down and challenge foolish behavior and praise good behavior.

 

5.       She realized the obligation and responsibility to fulfill the vow she made before God as far as raising her son.

She refers to him as her son and son of her womb, which makes him her responsibility and son of her vows which shows her moral obligation to raising him right. God’s word says that children are a blessing from the Lord. It’s a shame that many times they are treated as a burden, a secret, a possession, or a cord to keep someone in their parent’s lives. A good mother doesn’t pass her responsibility off onto others she realizes that they are a gift from God and that she has been entrusted with a life or lives to raise.

Proverbs 31:3 “Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.”

6.       She warned her son about the dangers of destroying his influence.

This mother warned her son about how dating multiple women will drain his strength and can potentially destroy his empire and influence. She kept it 100% as the kids say. There is nothing more destructive to a man than a wicked, manipulative, deceitful, selfish woman. She knew that her son would be distracted if he allowed multiple women to have his attention.

 

Proverbs 31:4-7 “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink,(5)lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. (6)Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; (7) let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”

7.       She reminded her son of his identity and the responsibility that goes along with that.

She calls him a king and reminds him of his responsibility of sticking up for the rights of the afflicted. She warns of substance abuse and how that can pervert the people’s rights because it can impede his judgement.  Her son had been entrusted with a sphere of influence and this mother understood that  potential substance abuse could shatter all of that. More importantly however, that kind of behavior isn’t fitting for a child of the KING (her son).

Proverbs 31:8-9, “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.(9)Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

8.       She inspired her son to use his gifts and influence to fight social justice, serve others and to use his voice for the voiceless.

She encourages him to speak up and defend those who are mute, poor, needy, and destitute. This mother communicated to him that his life is not for himself, it is to be poured out to serve his fellow man and those that are less fortunate than him. How the world would be such a better place if we poured into our children like this and taught them servanthood instead of entitlement.

Proverbs 31:10-31 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels…..”

She goes on for 21 more verses describing this woman.

9.       She encouraged her son to find a helpmate to help him rule. She understood he would need help. She communicates to him that finding a good woman is a rare valuable thing. She goes on to list the qualities of what he will gain when he finds her.

She is: Trustworthy, he won’t lack gain, she does him good not evil all the days of her life, she has a strong work ethic, willing hands, business woman, early riser, provides for her household needs first then others, has girlfriends, has her own, is fruitful in her giftedness, strong, dignified, in shape, knows her merchandise is profitable, burns the midnight oil, puts her hands to work, opens her hands to the needy and the poor, is generous, not afraid, prepared, dresses well, talks well of others, sells what she makes, delivers what she sells, keeps her word, strong, dignified, not afraid of the future, wise, speaks kindly always, knows well her families affairs, not lazy, her children call her blessed, is praised, and most importantly fears God.

Proverbs 31:30-31 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (31)Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

10.   She encourages her son that the most important quality of a good helpmate is that she is God-fearing.  Character is more important than beauty  and charm.

If this was Solomon who this was written to, it is interesting to note that he didn’t heed his mother’s advice. He had over 700 wives and 300 concubines. He was also known as the wisest man who ever lived but he isn’t mentioned in the hall of faith in Hebrews chapter 11. It shows us how one can be a hearer of the word and not a doer being self-deceived. Although I do believe Solomon truly loved one woman hence the book of Song of Solomon, he still chose to be selfish, give into his flesh, and these multiple women turned his heart away from the LORD.

Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching,”

 1 Corinthians 10:11 says, “These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.”

 What happened in the bible days are for us today to apply to our lives right now! I encourage us whatever life situation we are in to examine our lives and apply the wisdom in these verses. If we never had a mother like this, we are without excuse the bible clearly gives us this example of a woman who got it right. We can choose to see this mother as God speaking to us and glean what he is saying.

For the mother, brave father, spiritual mother, spiritual father, teacher, auntie, uncle, or mentor reading this…. Would you please ponder these questions as I have done?

Do you fear God?

Do you teach your children the word of God?

Are you present in your children’s lives?

Do you hold them accountable for their actions?

Are you faithfully fulfilling the responsibility of raising your child or children or are you passing it off on others?

Do you warn your children of the dangers of destroying their opportunities, education, reputation, gifts, and callings? Do you have guards up in your life to protect you from destroying yours?

Do you pour into them and remind them of their identity in God and with that challenge them to harness their responsibility in society?

Do you teach your kids servanthood and giving to others? Do you model this before them?

Do you encourage your children that character matters more than beauty, status, talent, or fame and to choose friendships or mates based on character not charm or beauty?

If you are like me, after reading this you may feel a little defeated. I think we all can admit we need some grace to grow in some of these areas but thanks be to God who extends His grace and mercy freely if we ask him. Let’s be the men and women God created us to be! Mediocrity is not your legacy! Live Fit4eternity!

PS: Happy Mother’s Day to all my beautiful readers holding it down! (picture credit: longwaitforisabel.com)